A little understanding or asking "why"

I've noticed something that is causing a lot of issue of late. I believe it is a lack of understanding. I look at many issues from small to large political ones and wonder why there is so much clashing. After having a wonderful almost debate type of conversation with a woman (I don't recall her name) at Pantheacon, it occurred to me that we often forget to ask why.

To use a trivial example- say Sally is pissed off because her coworker ate her banana. On the surface it may seem that Sally overreacted and the coworker was a jerk. But why did they respond that way? Maybe it was the day before payday and that banana was all Sally could afford for breakfast. Maybe the coworker was a diabetic who was getting low on blood sugar and didn't think she would mind. But unless one considers the "why" of their actions it is difficult to understand.

The same concept can be used on bigger more political issues. I've seen people collecting signatures for issues darn near chase people down to press their petitions or get aggressive responses from the people they are trying to discuss things with. Why are the potential signers acting that way? Are the petition people doing something in their presentation that repels them?

Which brings us to why there is such a hard division in the big issues. In this I mean racism, same sex marriage, trans individuals, etc. I suspect that the reason many people respond so negatively is that they don't understand the issue or didn't consider how to respond. Or the presentation needs some help. I've come to realize that often times what we say the issue is isn't necessarily what the issue is or an issue is presented too aggressively. Another example - some may say that we all have the right to marry who we want. Some may say that it is an abomination. What may be the deeper issue is that the idea of same sex marriage is something people may not know how to process this change of the norm and as a society we expect instant results. I am using same sex marriage as an example because over some years now it has changed from a hot button topic to something that is actually becoming accepted. (which I find to be wonderful)

To summarize what I am trying to say is that we all need to try to understand where people are reacting from and give a little acceptance. Some times people are just jerks, but sometimes people just need a little time or information to get used to a new concept. And I believe a little understanding or asking of "why" can go a long way.